Going Down
by hands-in
Summary: "Oh come on, Kara! Let's check it out? Please?" Lena pouted, hoping it would convince Kara to finally enter the shop they had been passing every week during their shared lunch breaks. "Does it not spark your curiosity?" "Not really, there's plenty of fun to have without using all this stuff I suppose. There's plenty to explore without the hassle of having to include things. The bo
1. In lace and lust we trust

"Oh come on, Kara! Let's check it out? Please?" Lena pouted, hoping it would convince Kara to finally enter the shop they had been passing every week during their shared lunch breaks.

The shop was located on a corner. Four big windows displaying the sold goods. In the middle of the windows one could enter the shop by walking the stairs down into the _souterrain_. Above the entrance read the shop's sign: Going Down.

Lena had been dropping hints for the past month. First she changed their usual route to their lunch place, _Oinari_ , a perfect little Japanese fusion restaurant. There Kara would feast on potstickers and Lena would enjoy watching Kara eat, while recharging herself with a matcha soy latte and a bento box. At first she did not mention the shop. The second time they passed it, she still would not stop, but pointed out the black see-through lingerie out at display. "Look Kara, stunning -don't you think?" Kara had blushed and mumbled: "I suppose." The third time, Lena grabbed Kara's arm to stop her in front of the window. She looked through the windows, without saying a word, browsing the gallery. Kara wearily stood somewhere behind Lena. She did not seem to show any no interest, while Lena spent some time looking at the products: a pile of porn, a set of glass dildos in various shapes, various harnesses, books, whips. She wondered what would be a good addition to her collection. Lena had a box at home with stuff, which she had not used for a while with anyone else but herself. She wondered if Kara, sweet innocent Kara, had any interested in any of these things. Oh, she wondered. She wondered while she played with herself at night, -or in the morning for that matter, her belly warm with desire, about all the things she could explore with Kara.

The fourth time they passed the shop, Lena did not stop, however she did bring it up. "Have you ever been to one of these shops?"

"I have been window shopping with you last week, but other than that no," Kara replied dryly.

"Does it not spark your curiosity?"

"Not really, there's plenty of fun to have without using all this stuff I suppose. There's plenty to explore without the hassle of having to include things. The body is wondrous enough."

"Hmm, that is rather Kara of you," Lena answered and left it at that.

The fifth time they pass it, today, it is Kara who brought it up and paused Lena in her tracks. "So, you had me thinking… I do not want to be presumptuous, being a reporter and all, may be it does spark my curiosity."

"Then let's go in!" Lena says with much more enthusiasm than she planned to expose. Lena knew perfectly well that with Kara you had to plant a seed first, then water it, nourish it, and leave it alone every now and then, for it to eventually come around as if it were her own idea.

Lena walks towards the stairs, hoping Kara follows her track. However Kara does not follow, instead she has a questioning look on her face, the kind Lena knew well enough, the kind that wanted to back out of things. When she hears Kara say: "Ehm Lee?", she knows the only counter is to plea and pout to convince Kara to join her to go down. She offers a hand and adds another "please", while she raises her eyebrows to beg with her eyes. A look she knew Kara could not resist. Kara let her head hang, reached out her hand as she shyly walked towards Lena until their fingers touched. With a tuck Lena drew Kara towards her. "Let's go down together," she says, while placing Kara's arm around her shoulder, their fingers interlaced and resting on the front of Lena's shoulder. Together they stride down the steps down and into the unknown.

Downstairs they are welcomed by Nur -or so the name tag reveals: "Hello you two, please have a look around and if you have any questions, or looking for something in particular, let me know?"

Kara fidgets with her glasses, unsure of what to say, as Lena thanks Nur and then drags Kara down to the lingerie section, which she considered would be the safest section to start.

"But, what's the use? Don't get me wrong, the fabric is beautiful, but why would you wear this? What's the use of having a bra that does not cover your breasts? What's the use of panties that do not cover your… you know, lady parts? And if they are meant for, you know, sex, then you are taking them off anyway, so again: what's the use?"

Lena chuckles. "Oh Kara, let me enlighten you."

"Please do. And also, why are these items this expensive?" Kara responds, her voice sounding as if it is actually bothering her, as if she cannot imagine why people would spend amounts of money on seemingly functionless products.

Lena cannot help but smile at the rambling Danvers woman. "Well, for starters, have you ever thought about easy access? Remember college? Hooking up in bathrooms, too much clothes, uncomfortable angles.."

While images of past hookups merge with fantasies of doing sinful things to Kara in bathroom stalls in Lena's mind, Kara just looks at her with a questioning look on her face. "No?" Lena asks, raising an eyebrow. "My my, miss Danvers you are purer than I imagined."

"Well, I see your point, but then again, it's uncomfortable anyway, so why not shove the panties aside and still, why would you wear a bra then at all?!"

"Hmm, let me try again." Lena bit her lip, pondering whether the next scenario would be a little too explicit for Kara's -sweet Kara's- ears. She takes a black lace bra off the rack, a piece that covers most part of your breasts, except for your nipples. There is space for the nipples to peek through this tiny hole in the fabric. "So, imagine -and let me remind you: you said: 'no hassle', you've got sexy times on your mind and so you have put on this beautiful bra, you walk around all day in this bra, you nipples hard, because you are horny as hell, and they are rubbing the fabric. You come home at night, your lover waiting for you, both hotter than you can handle because you have been sexting all day, you jump each other, you take off your top and your lover starts to lick your nipples." Lena rustles through the racks and grabs a pair of crotchless panties and then continues: "You put these on in the morning, underneath your pencil skirt, your lover only needing to ride up your skirt to feel what you have been working up to and then… easy access. You see?"

Lena had expected Kara's cheeks to have gone crimson red by now, but Kara merely rolls her eyes, before she says: "Yes, OR it is kind of chilly and you do not want to do it underneath the covers, so you sort of wear clothes, but also sort of don't."

"Oh my God, Kara. You are a hopeless deadpan! Well, time's up, we will revisit this again at a later date." Lena hangs back the lingerie and hooks her arm through Kara's. As they exit, Lena just nods at Nur before they make their way up. The conversation shifts to what they are about to do next at work until they part ways in front of LCorp.

* * *

Of course it had not let Kara completely unphased. Deadpanning the situation was her default reaction whenever she could not control her nerves in any other way. Back at CatCo Kara struggled to keep her focus. Every other minute visions of Lena wearing _that_ floated by in her head. Questions kept throwing themselves at her: _Would Lena actually wear something like that? When would she be wearing it? Lena spread out on a bed. Does she have a mystery lover waiting for her at home who she secretly sexts from behind that virgin white desk, rubbing her thighs together while feeling the wetness pool in between…_

"Earth to Kara. Earth to Kara."

She heard the smile grow in Winn's voice. When she looked at him he was grinning like an idiot, trying to keep his laughter about his own remark in. Kara looks at him with hazy eyes and reddened cheeks, when he clears his throat to say: "Sorry Kara, that was a really bad joke."

* * *

Later that night, back in her apartment, where there is no lover waiting for her, Lena revisits her fantasies about Kara and the risque lingerie. She cannot imagine oblivious Kara wearing the set. She figured Kara would be more of a soft pastels and flowers kind of girl. However, while they were at the sex shop something else sparked her interest: a boys briefs dildo harness, and she could not get the fantasy out of her mind.

She opens the chest in her bedroom to get out a generic lifelike dildo and a bottle of lube. She underdresses herself and settles onto the bed. Picturing herself wearing the crotchless panties and the nipple bra, she lets her hands slide across her body, massaging her breasts and neck. She imagines herself wearing them underneath her signature pencil skirt and blouse, being all worked up already from plenty of enticing messages received during her work day. Her hands explore her hips, her fingers toying with the tiny curls covering her pubic area. She fantasizes of opening the door to her apartment to find her naked lover sitting on her couch, loose, long and wavy blonde hair covering broad shoulders, an eight pack adorning the belly above sexy black boys briefs with a beautiful dick sticking out. She strokes her wet slit to rub her own wetness onto the dildo. She pictures herself entering the apartment, putting her bag and coat away, while maintaining eye contact with her lover who was touching herself, who was jerking her dick for her. She imagines kneeling in between strong legs, taking the full length of the limb into her mouth at once, blue eyes looking at her turning black at the sight of it.

Meanwhile, she adds a drop of lube onto the dildo that was resting onto her pussy as she was stroking it. She feels the blood rushing into her own labia and clit, her entrance become hungry for contact. Her fantasy self gets up to straddle her lover, her pencil skirt riding up to the hips, as she feels the dildo settle between her folds. Her lover looks at her with hungry eyes, hands unbuttoning her shirt while tongues wrestle in a heated kiss. Once the blouse is gone, Kara's lips claim freed nipples, sucking full breasts into her mouth. Lena can hear herself moan. She starts to move her hips to find friction on the dildo, only to feel she could easily come just from that. Kara releases her breasts and helps her up a bit to help the dildo find access. Slowly but surely, eyes locked onto Kara's, Lena lowers her hips down to take in the full length. Kara looks at her with anticipation and need. Once her muscles settle around the dildo, she starts to rock her hips, slowly, while Kara rests her hands onto her sides and Lena fists her hands into luscious blond hair. Their moans blending into a lovers' duet. The dildo pounding her pussy, pounding the walls of her wanton cavern until her muscles contract around the dildo, only to let go when she finally comes screaming. Imagining Kara sucking a nipple into her mouth pushes her over the edge.

* * *

The next morning she wakes to the sound of her phone buzzing.

Kara [06:43:33]: _Good morning sunshine, care to have have an afternoon delight at Oinari's at 5?_

Kara [06:44:35]: _I know I only saw you like yesterday and we also have yoga this Wednesday, and I know you are busy and probably working late, but the food is just so good, no pressure, i just_

Kara [06:45:44]: _I just realize I am rambling again ;) forgive me Lena. See you at 5 at Oinari's, yes or no?_

She wonders if their little trip down did spark something in Kara, otherwise she would not want to meet at Oinari's, right? They could have drinks and bites at Noonan's like at other occasions or at the dive bar. The prospect of another opportunity to go down with Kara made her eyes light up, so she replies:

Lena [06:50:47]: _Yes, it would be a delight seeing you there and a welcome break from the suits._

Lena [06:51:22]: _Save the rambling for later, I like it when you ramble :p_

Lena [06:52:33]: _ps. you are up early thinking about me?_

She saw Kara typing a message, stopping, typing, and again, but in the end nothing came until later that day.

Kara [14:22:43]: _You know I am always thinking about food_

Kara [14:25:44]: _That did not come out quite right. Try again._

Kara [14:27:02]: _I woke up craving gyoza and then thought of Oinari and then thought of you…_

Lena [15:45:44]: _Thanks for letting me know. I shall not flatter myself any further. See you at 5 ;)_

Kara [16:33:21]: _(:_


	2. What you see is what you get

The joint was nearly empty except for some foreign tourists feasting on sushi. The room was dim, breathing an evening-like atmosphere at any time of day. Lena ordered a glass of _aorjiru_ and a handful of _edamame_ for her to snack on while waiting for Kara. She placed a pre-order on the _gyoza_ Kara likes.

She was hoping they could walk back past Going Down again. She knew this was going to take a long time to iron out, but she would enjoy every second of it. She knew Kara better than anyone, -well may be Alex knew her better, but different anyway, she perfectly well knew that Kara would become nervous and freeze. One thing Lena learned in life was to be patient, to mold and to affirm. She knew how to go unnoticed while putting all the pieces in the right places for there to be only one outcome: her desired outcome. It was exactly what made her such a good business woman, a chess prodigy, as well as a resourceful scientist.

In moments when she doubted herself, when she feared her Luthor genes, in these moments she felt most insecure and would deem herself manipulative. But it was not like she was playing Kara, at least she did not intend it that way, she cared about Kara. Kara's emotions mattered to her.

Yet she craved for Kara's reaction on this subject matter. She loved how Kara operated, always uncomfortable at first when something out of her comfort zone was being presented to her, then showing habitual responses, then she would retract and reconsider and come back to overcome her own discomfort and fears, and she would do it over and over and over again if she had to, just to overcome whatever resistance she would hold.

Lena did not have a comfort zone. She knew she was brilliant and could do just about anything. She never cared for what other people would think about her, always assuming they would think the worst anyway, hence there was a certain _laissez-faire_ to her personality. However, she lacked the wonder and amazement Kara could have for the world, seeing Kara's purity in this, always filled Lena's heart with joy and that was exactly what she had missed all her life.

Everytime Kara would smile a halo of sunshine would magically surround her and it would feel Lena's stomach with butterflies, and precisely that feeling was addictive to her. So Lena could not stop herself, Kara was like coffee and chocolate to her, once you are hooked, you are always craving.

She knew she had an effect on Kara too, the pull between the two women was undeniable. She could only guess what Kara liked about her, besides Kara always seeing the good in other people. In any case, she knew Kara cared for her unconditionally, something she had never felt before and that mattered to her.

So did she pursue Going Down with Kara because it made Kara uncomfortable? Yes, but only because she knew Kara would grow from it. Well not only, because there was some self interest to this case, she enjoyed the shameless fantasies and private frenzies it fed.

Despite her fantasy last night, if they were to go back, she deemed Kara not quite ready to see the dildos and harnesses, neither did she think she was ready to browse the BDSM section. She pondered whether she should show Kara the vibrator section first, under the guise of 'self-care'. Everyone needs to de-stress, right? At first, she figured endorsing it as 'self-care' could circumvent Kara's nifty comments about what coupley sex should be like. But then she also figured Kara's response would probably be the same: why would you need anything like that if you've got your hands. _Fair point_ , she thought as her thoughts lingered on images of Kara's fingers and what she could do with them.

"Lena!" Kara exclaimed as she walked towards her. Lena, lost in thoughts, did not hear her. "Lena!" she said again. "Earth to Lena," she reiterated Winn's remark. It was only when she took the empty seat in front of her best friend, Lena snapped out of her fantasy world.

"Gosh, Kara, I am sorry, I did not see you enter." Lena said. Kara took her hands in her own as she reached across the table.

"Well, no you didn't, because you seemed to be lost in thoughts. What's keeping you busy?" Kara looked at her with sincere concern in her eyes.

"Hmm, it is nothing," she mutters and bites her lip. She feels herself getting lost in thoughts again as her index finger trails the lines on Kara's hand.

Kara squeezes her hand. "Lee, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

 _Such soft hands,_ she thinks before, she forces herself to snap out of it again. "No, no, really it is nothing. I guess I just did not sleep that well last night. Here, let me signal the kitchen staff to bring your highly anticipated _gyozas_." She smiles.

"Oh wow, that is thoughtful of you. I'm super hungry. I could eat a horse."

"Please don't." Lena replies with a serious look on her face that quickly turns into a teasing smile. "I ordered plenty for you. You know, I made an all-you-can-eat arrangement with the chef, see it as my gift to you: a monthly unlimited membership."

Kara's eyes light up. "Really, you would do that for me?"

"No, I did not, it was a joke, but now considering it, it is actually a darn good idea. Let me see what I can do." Lena jumps up and asks for the manager.

When Lena returns she nods her head as to say she arranged to make the deal.

"Have I told you you are my favorite person? I am forever in debt and forever grateful. I hope this place does not bore you, because I am going to drag your bottom down here every day." They both laugh.

When the laughter wears off, Kara is the first to speak: "So... I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday, I said I'd go down with an open mind, but then I ended up being the absolute worst. My brain short circuited." Kara lets her head hang. From there she mumbles something which Lena believes is: "I mean, I got nervous." She hears a hint of shame in her friend's voice.

"Oh Kara, there is no need to apologize. We all have sex at some point in our lives, yet Most people hide themselves watching bad porn online or ordering stuff anonymously through dodgy websites with products that will do you -and your body, mostly worse than good. They do not inform themselves, because they feel shameful about their body, about their pleasures." She hears herself ramble and wants to avoid the inevitable question, but it is too late, because right then Kara interrupts her: "And you don't?"

Lena scrapes her throat. "Well, I had the privilege of going to an all girls' boarding school and acquainting myself there with someone who would after school become one of the key players in the current sex positive movement."

Kara squints her eyes and furrows her forehead. "I...I have no idea what that means," she utters. "Sex positive movement," she repeated. "a social and philosophical movement which encourages safe, consensual, healthy and pleasurable sex and sexual expression."

"You have been acquainting yourself with a mouthful." Lena chuckles. Kara's eyes are wide. She is processing this new information and unaware of what she just said. Lena gives her a moment to process, only for Kara to then ask if they can go back to the shop. As if on cue, Lena tells her to get up and go. Kara stuffs the last _gyozas_ in her mouth, gives the chef a thumbs up and follows Lena outside.

On their way over to the shop, Kara tells Lena she sometimes feels so foreign, growing up a very protected life in Midvale, always under the guard of her older sister. Everything she did as a teenager contrasted her sister. They were like sun and moon. While Alex was the party animal, the sociable wild child, Kara was the brains, the socially awkward one. It was only when they moved to National City and found separate apartments Kara felt free to explore life outside the all seeing eyes of both her adoptive parents and her sister. Sex, she told Lena as they are about to enter the store, was something otherworldly to her. She did it, but never really understood the fuzz.

"Slept on it?" Nur says as she welcomes the two of them in.

"Sorry, what?" Lena responds.

"Saw something you liked yesterday, I meant. I am sorry, how can I help you?"

She saw plenty she liked yesterday, but that would not be the correct answer here. "Well, we are not exactly back for what we saw yesterday, we just came back to have a look at the rest of the shop."

"Is there anything in particular you are interested in?"

"Kara?" Lena dodges the question to the blonde.

Kara bats her eyes faster than Lena can register. The discomfort is back. "Yes, well actually, I am interested to know why do people come here?"

 _Geez, she is externalizing again_. Lena glances at Kara and whispers "Reporter mode activated." Kara gives her a wry smile.

"Well, let me tell you about Going Down a bit first. Me and my partner and crime started this shop about thirty years ago. Back then, sex -and especially sex shops- were male oriented and sex toys like dildos were called extensions or prosthetics. We wanted to reclaim our sexuality. We wanted to offer products that are designed to be enjoyable for all parties involved, nice fabrics and pleasurable designs, supporting small ventures with great ideas rather than big players with nothing in their pants. To answer your question why people come here: because they want to enjoy their sexuality and to explore their sexuality. Now, why are you here?"

Kara's face turns all red. Lena cannot help but grin and grabs her friend's upper arm as she replies to Nur: "Kara, darling, please don't say 'she made me come here'."

Nur returns her joke with a knowing look. "Okay, I see. I did not mean to eavesdrop, but I overheard you are a reporter? Well, how about giving you some research material then. Follow me ladies, let's go to our porn section."

Lena is delighted with the way her dilemma seems to solve itself.

"Let me see what we have," Nur browses along a wall of DVDs. "Let me get this clear first: we only work with sex positive directors and performers." She grabs the first DVD case. "This seems fitting." She shows a DVD named _A Femme Like you_. "Why do you think?" Kara inquires. "Well, you seem to be into her," Nur replies while pointing to Lena. "I thought I'd pick something not too far from home." Lena accepts the DVD from Nur and has a look at the case. It shows a wide variety of femmes taking care of each other. Lena smiles. Kara peeks over her shoulder."So what's it about," Kara asks.

Lena jokes it is about a millionaire CEO and an ace reporter getting it on. "Let me see," Kara grabs the case from Lena with disbelief. "Oh my, it is not!" Kara smacks Lena with the case. Lena cannot help but laugh.

"Okay ladies, so Kara, you might actually like it. It is a porn with plot." Nur tries to encourage her. Kara kindly thanks her: "I… I mean… I am not gay."

"Oh, I am sorry, I just assumed, you and your friend here were together."

"No we are friends, just friends."

Lena adds: "You know friends who go porn shopping together." She then shrugs. "What are friends for."

"You know, for research purposes." Kara adds.

Lena laughs. "Yes Kara, because well, don't you dare flatter yourself. I don't think about you when I am doing it."

Nur quietly observes the two of them bickering and leaves them to it. They do not even seem to notice she is gone for a few moments, only to return with another DVD. "Okay, for research purposes then, our latest additions: a fun and adventurous super diverse Europorn called _Superqueer_ , made by dedicated artists from Paris, Berlin and Amsterdam. Shall I pack these two for you?"

Before Lena can say anything and much to Lena's surprise, Kara tells Nur to pack them all. She soon realizes, seeing Kara struggle with her purse and cards and visibly shaking, Kara's spur is merely a way to put an end to this awkward situation and calm her nerves. Once the payment is settled, Kara clings onto Lena' arm and drags her up the stairs to end their little endeavour with a hasty goodbye.

Kara [14:32:31]: Feels pretty weird walking around town with a stash of porn

Lena [15:14:23]: Haha. You are so brave today!

Kara [15:15:45]: Didn't you want to talk half of the stash home?

Lena [15:17:01]: Are you sure you want to share your porn with me?

Kara [15:18:11]: What are friends for, right?

Lena [15:18:55]: ...

Kara [15:20:02]: Are you avoiding the question?

Lena [16:32:11]: You know I do not avoid questions.

Lena [16:33:31]: Thanks for offering. You watch them first and tell me what you think. I'll take your short list.

Kara [17:43:12]: You appear to have faith in my taste in porn. Interesting.

Lena [17:44:58]: What do you know…

Kara [17:46:55]: Nothing, that was the problem

Lena [19:32:32]: haha. Good night love, enjoy your stash. Don't snort it all at once.

Walking around with a stash of porn did make her feel uncomfortable. She hid the bag somewhere deep in her desk drawer at CatCo and decided to work late, not only to postpone what was in the bag, but also to be able to retrieve it from the drawer once everyone in her vicinity had already left the building.

Having to talk about porn with Lena made her feel uncomfortable, joking over the app with Lena about porn, not so much. They had an easy dynamic the two of them, there was something self-evident about their interactions and inherently flirty as they shared a similar sense of humor. More than once people had mistaken them for a couple, today included. For as far as she knew, she was not gay. She never had a particular interest in women romantically, had she? Yet yesterday she had found herself fantasizing about her best friend wearing lace. Was she gay for Lena?

Having to talk to Lena about the porn was inevitable and it made her extremely nervous. She spent most of the afternoon thinking what would be the right way to go about this. Never in her whole life had she watched porn. Except for that one time, when she accidentally opened the wrong kind of email. How could she know this girl did not really want to be friends with her?! She was shocked by what appeared on the screen and what she had heard about porn, she did not like at all. She did not want to feel in any way involved in exploitation of any kind, nor could she find herself in any of the beauty standards endorsed by mainstream porn. Yes, she was a cis gendered woman, and well aware that was the case, she never considered herself fashionable, as far as she knew she had the fashion sense of a middle aged librarian, -or at least that was what Alex told her. She did not care much. She was never into full make up and working on your hair for more than 5 minutes a day. Basically she had a lot of assumptions about porn, she never cared to learn more about it. For her sex was a private matter. Having learned today about a more ethical approach to porn, sparked her curiosity. Having to tell Lena this was her first official porn viewing was not something she had considered having to do; let alone having to share her experiences with it.

She decided there were two ways she could survive this unfortunate affair: 1) put on some comfy clothes, microwave some popcorn and just pop, porn and chill her way through it, or option 2) get a pen and a notepad and approach it she were to write an op-ed for tomorrow's paper. She knew option 2 would give her the tools to hide any discomfort behind intellectual conundrums. She also knew Lena would not buy it. So she decided to go with option 1.

 _Femme like me_ or _Superqueer_. The latter looked like fun, less 'porn' than she expected, so she starts with that one. She actually munches her way through the film. Shoving popcorn into her mouth, while bulging eyes almost suck in the screen. She had never imagined nor seen anything like this. Was she living in a bubble? It all seemed so foreign, alien to her. Not only the appearances, but also the depiction of sex and the sexual liberty this people seemed to ooze. She SHOULD write an op-ed about this, she thought. Was there anything like this in National City? Was there anything like this in the country?

She could only describe what she saw as people embracing sex and lust. She did not know, whether she was watching women or men, she saw bodies and in all sorts of forms and varieties, she saw stretch marks, body hair, scars, piercings, tattoos. People were laughing, things did not go smooth, they used gloves for protection, there was no soft glow adorning these people, it was raw, it was real.

This whole experience was overwhelming to Kara. It was so foreign to her that she could not relate to it sexually in any way, her body did not respond to any of it, as her brains were in overdrive. She tried to wrap her head around it. The essence she found extremely liberating, as if she found a whole new discourse re-imagining anything she ever thought she knew about sex, and porn. She was lyrical. While the bodies pleasured each other knuckle deep, she felt like she wanted to dance on the table, but her inhibitions prevented her from actually doing so.

Instead, she called Lena.

Lena: _Kara, to what do I owe the pleasure?_

Kara: _Lena! You have to see this. It is amazing! It is unlike anything else I have ever seen in my whole life. These people, it is like their dancing through life. It's unhinged. It is audacious._

Lena: _You sound rather excited in an unexpected way._

Kara: _Lena you have to watch this! I'll bring it to you tomorrow._

Lena: _Okay dear, you sparked my curiosity. What are you watching?_

Kara: _People, people having sex, in all sorts of ways. They are using gloves and they go so slow and they go so deep and everything is wet and there are so combinations I can't hardly tell them apart and it looks so grungy yet there's so much life to it…_

Lena: _Kara, I meant what movie are you watching?_

Kara: _The Euroqueer. No that's not it. Superporn. No, ah yes. Let me see,_ Superqueer.

 _Lena: Well, drop it off at my office tomorrow? Are you going to watch the other one as well?_

Kara: _No, I don't think I can handle any more life changing events today. See you tomorrow, Lee._

Lena: _See you tomorrow, Kara._

 _Superqueer_ had kept the adrenaline rushing through her veins all night. She bounced with energy, researching everything about the director, the performers, the sex positive movement. It was only when she looked at the clock, she realized she had to cool down if she ever were to sleep that night. She went to bed, tossing and turning for another hour, when she decided if she did not get any sleep any way, she might as well watch the other dvd now too.

She put the disc in her laptop and curled herself up underneath her comforter. This was going to be a very different experience, she guessed from seeing the title page. She could pick from 6 different stories. She chooses a story about a redhead and a brunette taking musical performance classes together. Even though they are amongst other people, all they seem to have eyes for, is each other. Their chemistry is off the charts, their interactions completely in sync with each other, sharing the same sense of humour. During a lunch break, one drags the other upstairs to the roof to have lunch with a view. The brunette looking over the railing, staring into the horizon, while the red head slips behind her, wrapping her arms around the brunette to nuzzle her neck to ask whether she can reciprocate the favor. The brunette nods, while hands start to roam the brunette's body, igniting a sweet moan from the receiver's end.

Kara feels the level of discomfort in her body grow. She pulls the comforter up to her face, peeking over the edge. There is something voyeuristic in watching porn and it plagued her. _It is getting hot in here_.

A hand moves into tight dance pants, the girl in front arches back, while the other girl brings her hand to the bared throat. The two of them moving in perfect unison, while the city bustles in the background.

Kara groans and squirms, before she finally shuts her laptop and buries her face in the pillows. The earlier excitement all gone and replaced by an excitement of a different variety mixed with fatigue. It has been a long a long day. Sinking down into the softness of her mattress, she feels her body subdued to butterfly kisses, a tingling sensation on her skin. At the same time, there is a tension, a pit in her lower abdomen that feels heavy, unbearably heavy. Kara knows she is stubborn, she knows what her body is asking from her, she knows her only option right now. So, she slides her hand underneath her body and all the way down, feeling the weight of her pubic bone resting on her hand, her soft curls tickling her palm. She sighs and starts to rub her clit, slowly. She can feel her nipples hardening, pressing into the mattress. She roams her free hand to cup a breast and gently knead it, before that hand drifts of to meet her neck. Images of the dvd replaying in her head. Pretty soon, her fingers start to feel numb, knuckles sore as they occupy the damp space underneath her. She is riding the highway, her vulva begging for further exploration. And then she thinks about her prior euphoria. Inspired by tonight's events, she consciously grants herself the permission to find her sexual expression in this moment. She turns herself around and slides her already moist hand down her slit to dip her middle finger inside, tracing languid circles with it along the rims of her entrance increasing the wetness until she can feel her center throbbing from within asking to be filled, anticipating release. She thinks about the brunette writhing her hand, as she slides two fingers inside of herself. Letting her cunt find a rhythm similar to the movements she witnessed onscreen, until the woman in her visions finds her release and turns around, only to look at her intently with familiar green eyes, right then her orgasm washes over her and releases her in a deep night sleep.


	3. Metamorphosis

Somewhere in Europe, 2014.

 _She got invited to speak at a European summit about Quantum Entanglements. She did not care much for conferences, she only accepted the invite because she adored the city, especially in autumn. The days were sunny with leaves in every color coloring the broad avenues. The nights were crispy, as if they were emphasizing the sharp lines along the avenues. Despite it, the city had a soft glow to it. Whether day or night, it was as if the city clouded in vaseline like focus of a 50s Hollywood movie._

 _After the conference she only had about 20 hours left in the city and she wanted to breathe the city for as long as she could. Besides the city's allure, there was one person in this city she could not go around: Sam, formerly known as Samantha, and currently going by Reign. The two of them met in boarding school and hit it off immediately, though their interests ran miles apart. Sam appeared to be the only person capable of giving some counterweight to her snark and intellect. Over the years Lena kept track of Sam's career, and later Reign's as she moved to Europe and engaged herself in more explicit activities. Whenever either one of them visited the other's town, they would meet up to catch up and -if it was that kind of they- they would also hook up. She shot Sam a message, knowing the other woman would respond to her call._

 _Lena [07:33:43]:_ Hey Sam Ma'am, I'm in town, any chance you are available to meet up?

 _Sam [11:12:40]:_ The Lady Lena! What a coincidence. I am hosting a private belated birthday soiree tonight. It will be fun… Care to pop by? I can put you on the list.

Lena did not believe in coincidence. She studied quantum entanglement and knew she and Sam were vibrating on the same level, wherever they were.

 _Lena [12:08:45]:_ Count me in.

 _Sam texted her the address. She headed there straight after the conference. It was still light out when she walks up the stairs of the turn of the century residential building. She rings the bell and makes her way up to the third floor. A sign read: Reign's Bitch Bash . So much for the soiree, she thinks. It is Sam herself who opens the door. "Well hello there. Look who's come out to play. Good to see you!" Sam beams with joy. "Likewise," Lena replies and hugs the other woman. She whispers to Sam: "I guess you go by Reign tonight?" "Please," the other woman smiles. Sam takes her by the hand and lures her though a long modern hallway. They enter a common space, where a trio is playing classical music and people seem to be conversing and enjoying themselves. Lena takes in the space for a moment. This is not your usual birthday party. The harpist was blindfolded, the flutist wore a full body harness and the violinist had a ball gag. There were all types of people, some were casually dressed, others -much like herself, wore more formal clothes, and then there were the people who wore almost nothing, except for tails, headbands or masks. They are a colorful crowd. Sam excuses herself to welcome more guests._

 _Lena makes her way over to the buffet. She talks to the woman who catered the party and tasted one of the pastel colored macarons, wherafter she takes a spritz and walks back to explore the venue. She solemnly makes her way through the crowd. There are plates with condoms, lubricants, gloves and dams. She can feel the atmosphere oozing sexual energy, even though there are not many visual signs of actual sexual activity, yet. This was all foreplay. She walks onto the balcony and into the darkness. Here in the fresh air, she looks out over the city. Its seeming serenity tainted by the debauchery behind her, much to her delight._

 _Sam approaches her from behind. "Missed me?" she whispers, as she wraps her arms around Lena's waist. "You know I don't actually miss people," Lena smiles as she speaks into the darkness in front of her, leaning back into Sam's embrace. "Hmm, missed my ministrations then?" Sam tries, nuzzling her face in Lena's neck. "I could ask you the same question," Lena shoots back. "I see you still enjoy a power play. Care to dance milady Lena?" Lena turns herself around and wraps her hands behind Sam's neck as she pulls her in for a kiss. From the moment she walked into the apartment and laid eyes on Sam, she knew there was a 99% chance they would hook up that evening. Sam looked irresistible in her leather jumpsuit and now she was moaning hot breaths into her mouth. Sam pushes Lena back against the railing, but Lena was not having any of it. She slides her hands onto Sam's chest and rather forcefully pushes her back. The leather cladded host stumbles backwards, giving lena a devilish smirk as their eyes lock and their bodies smash back into each other. They have played this game before. Lena pushes Sam back against a picnic table bench. "Now hush and sit," she hisses as she motions Sam to sit down. Sam takes her cue, but only to pull Lena down with her. Lena straddles her both sides and pushed her down onto the bench. Sam looks eager as she lets her hands roam up underneath Lena's skirt. Fingers trailing along black tights to find the bare skin underneath her garter belts. Lena removes the pin from her hair and long raven hair unleashes over her shoulders. She leans forward and pushes Sam back down into the bench as she takes hold of her hands to restrain the woman underneath her. Her hair shields both their faces from the public._

 _"How much longer do you think you can hold me here?" Sam whispers._

 _"Long enough," Lena whispers back, as she traces Sam's jawline with her tongue and nibbles her ear lobe. The other woman squirms underneath her._

 _"Long enough for what?" Sam smirks, kneading Lena's ass and thighs, while Lena presses her pussy into Sam's pubic bone, riding herself into ecstasy._

* * *

The two dvds lie wrapped in this morning's news paper, hidden underneath two bento boxes, in her brown Fossil shopper bag. She takes the bus to LCorp. It is only a 10 minute ride and walking probably would have been faster, but she needs it to clear her head -if only for 10 minutes or so. She keeps the bag close to her body, hugging it in, while she rests her head against the window as she watches the city pass by. The faster the city spins by, the more quiet her mind becomes and that is just what she needs, since her mind has been racing all morning about last night's revelations.

There's shame, a hint of guilt even. There's that painful feeling of realizing she watched porn, queer porn and actually enjoyed it. And a hint of guilt for realizing this 'impropriety' hit her to the bone and shakes up her world and everything she ever made of it and she cannot undo it.

She feels wistful, yet ignorant. Flashbacks to playful innocent crushes, and for the first time in her life she realizes they have always been there: she had crushes on men and women alike, although she only ever acted upon her male love interests, as these were the ones actually pursuing her. She had been in love with Mike, with James, with Kenny. How could she have missed the other side of the same coin? How about Gayle? How about Imra? Hell, how about Cat? What if they would have pursued her, what if she had actually interpreted her feelings for them as crushes, as potential romantic, sexual, love interests? All her life she has been adding shadows to the walls of the cave, not only her, but the whole world around her projecting, propagating the same narratives.

She feels opportunistic and hopeful, yet incredibly lonesome at this point. It had opened her eyes and given her tools, a point of reference, a spot on the horizon. She could take matters in her own hands and control over her own life. With work it had never been the problem, yet for some reason she had cast a shadow over her personal life. She had no idea, yet. She knew she had to open up to someone at some point, but this was hers to sit on for now. The light at the end of the tunnel was blinding, probably confronting and super scary, yet she could not wait to find out what would lie beyond.

There can be no more yesterday, like tomorrow cannot be now. There's a transformation blooming underneath the surface, which outcome cannot be overseen. So, there is only now, and right now, she is on her way over to meet up with her best friend discussing porn over sushi. Or so she tried to tell herself.

As always, Lena's assistant would let Kara in straight away. Lena would welcome her with a big hug and a warm smile and they would take a seat on the couch to enjoy their lunch together. First eat, the rest could always wait. Except for today, because Kara's nervousness resurfaced in the wake of having to face her crush and having to talk about porn.

She bounces into Lena's open arms and starts to ramble about sushi as Lena closes her arms around her. Kara cannot give into the hug and rambles on about how there weren't any inside out rolls left, which she deems a problem, because she knows they are Lena's favorite.

Lena releases Kara from her grip and pushes her towards the sofa. "Sshh, now sit," she tries to hush Kara's rambling and get her to calm down. Kara complies and sits down. She buries her face in her hands. Lena takes the seat next to her and places her hand on the back of Kara's heart as a way of comforting her.

"There's a lot going on," Kara mumbles from behind her hands. "Kara, darling, I am sure it is nothing you can't face."

Kara recomposes herself. "You're right," she confirms. and takes the two dvds out of her bag. "This," she starts as she hands over the pile to Lena. "This has shaken me to my core." Lena chuckles. Kare looks at her with questioning eyes. "Sorry," Lena gives her an apologetic look, while Kara continues. "I ended up watching both." "Lena smirks: "I told you not to snort everything at once! You must be high on dopamine." Kara gives her a nudge. "Sorry," Lena repeats. "I can't help it, you are adorable when you are nervous." Kara blushes.

Lena scrapes her throat, adopting a serious look on her face. "Anyway, let's have a look." Lena has a look at the Superqueer DVD. "Directed by Reign. Remember I told you about that girl in boarding school? This is hers, she directed it."

"You have got to be kidding, right? What are the odds?"

"80% or so, the scene is very small, let alone in Europe."

"How do you know all these things?"

"I always knew Sam -that's her real name-, was meant for great things, so I kept track of her career and the other way around. We stayed in contact over the years, nothing frequent, but whenever one would be in the other's town, we'd find our way to each other."

She feels the pit in her stomach grow. Was Reign her lover? What else did this Sam person teach her.

"Sometimes you just vibrate on the same frequency with someone. I like to think we do too, Kara." Lena places her hand back on Kara's back.

What does that even mean?

Kara leans in to the comfort of Lena's hand and closes her eyes. She takes a deep breath and releases it with a loud sigh.

"Lee..," she starts, unable to finish her sentence as her brain short circuits when Lena's fingers start to trail along Kara's back. "Just relax, don't try to wrap your brain around it. Some things are better felt than understood." It is a quiet whisper, unseeable waves in the air, but she adds "unless you are me."

They sit together for a while. Lena lightly drawing trails along Kara's back. Kara breathing, taking everything in with her eyes closed. Every now and then Lena whispers something to her, like "this produces endorphins, it will help you to relax" and "Kara, it is going to be fine," and finally -when she feels Kara relaxing underneath her fingers- "Let's eat."

* * *

Making her way back to CatCo, Kara feels as if she is hovering above the pavement, head in the clouds. When she passes Going Down, she bursts out of her little bubble: If she were to ever become in anyway romantically involved with Lena, she would have to step up her game. If Lena had a professional for a lover, how could she compete with that? Fueled by Lena's endorsements and her own motivations, she feels confident enough to face Nur again and explore the shop, so she goes in to take matters into her own hands.

The stairs already feel familiar to her. She has not seen all of the shop, but she knows one day she will. Downstairs she is met by Nur again: "Good to see you, at least what you saw did not scare you off." Kara smiles. "On the contrary. It made me realize a lot of things. Thank you for opening my eyes. Now if you can help me…" She hesitates, before she continues: "I cannot guarantee you that I won't deadpan on you, but now you know, so please ignore it if it happens… I am here with sincere interest."

Of course Nur is more than happy to help her. "Would you like to watch more? Read more?"

"Feel more," Kara adds, instantly blushing when she realizes the implications. Nur scrapes her throat. "Okay let's see what we've got. Follow me." Nur walks over to the vibrator section. As soon as Kara realizes what she has gotten herself into, she freezes.

"Are you coming?" Nur asks. Kara looks at her in disbelief. "If they work right."

Nur giggles. "I mean, why are you still over there? Aren't you curious what these little wonders can do?"

"Like I said, make you, you know, if they work right…" Kara replies in a monotonous voice, unsure of how to respond otherwise.

"Look, you said this would happen, so I am not going to take no for an answer. What's holding you back?"

"Why would you need a thing like that when you've got your hands, or a partner? They seem so redundant to me. Also, there's electricity in that. Doesn't seem right to me."

"You don't know what you are missing out on… But okay, if it was aimed too high, let's lower the threshold. Come with me to the book section. Nothing scary there, promise."

The book section is packed with bookcases stuffed with books and other sex related paraphernalia. The walls are decorated with erotic movie posters and lingerie ads. Kara feels the resistance creep up in her body again. "Nothing scary huh, pff," she awkwardly 'jokes'.

"Here, Veronica Sinclair's latest, hands on into the unknown." Bliss yourself out the title reads. Hands on self love. Kara feels her palms becoming sweaty, hands trembling as she accepts the book from Nur.

"You have come a long way miss, but you have got a long way to go, your journey starts here, with yourself." Nur tells her solemnly. Kara looks at her questioning, until Nur winks at her, and she can feel herself loosening up. She decides to take the book.

On her way out, Nur hands her a flyer. "Here, we offer a wide variety of hands-on workshops, the next one takes place in a few weeks, please have a look at our program."

* * *

That evening Kara changes into her comfortable sweatpants and white a tank top to settle in on the sofa with two buckets of ice cream and her book. She spoons away as she reads and reads and takes in everything she can.

When she finishes the ice cream, she lies down on the sofa and closes her eyes, feeling inspired, saturated and satisfied. She lets a cold hand wander underneath the hem of her sweatpants and into her panties. Her pussy immediately reacts to the cold sensation brought to it and already slightly turned on by the ink on the pages. Her lips are swollen, her pussy slightly damp and she can feel the blood rushing where her cold fingers linger.

She just read, she should ignore any fantasies and focus on her sensations, to what she is experiencing right now, moment by moment, by moment. Consciously deciding what it is she needs. However it is awfully hard as she re-experiences Lena's skillful fingers stroking her back, tingling sensations from this morning interspersing with current lust.

Her right hand cups her right labium, moving it back and forward, the wriction stimulating her clit and moistening her entrance. She starts to melt into her own softness. Her left hand joins the right and cups the left side, moving asynchronically to her right hand. Her middle finger exploratively teasing her wettening entrance. She can feel her breasts swell, her breath moving higher up into her chest. The air around her fills itself with a thick, warm resinous smell, a top note of bergamot, her base note rose and her heart note undisputedly amber.

She envisions Lena smirking between her thighs, eyes locked onto hers, her tongue lapping up the pool between her legs. Her own fingers are drawn to her entrance like bees to honey, diving a little deeper down every time. Do I want this? she manages to think as she hooks two fingers inside and lets her other hand massage her thighs. The only answer here is yes .

She keeps her fingers still inside, inhales deeply and regulates her breaths. With each breath in, all the way down south, it feels as if she breathes her walls towards her fingers. It feels somewhat reverse, making friction rather than being subjected to friction, but it feels so good. She wonders if this is what it would feel like to have Lena's pussy wrapped around her fingers, pulsating against her fingers. Two fingers become three, her walls caving in on her fingers, until there is only wriction. She then slowly starts to move her fingers, dragging her most sensitive wall. Again, the same vision of her raven haired friend between her thighs, eyes begging her to come for her and so she does. She lets go of everything she every thought she knew and comes wet and hard. There is no shame in this anymore, she knows she wants it, she needs to claim it, until then… at least there is no harm in fantasizing.


	4. Mold and affirm

The air was still warm. Autumn in national city felt very different from her autumns in Europe. Here, early mornings felt like summer evenings, the sun low in the sky. Optimism in the air for the day to come. Afternoons turned they city into a humid darkness. There was nothing crispy about the air here, nor did it ever seem to be raining like in Europe. Autumn afternoons here were sultry and languid, the atmosphere dense and the sky colorful before turning into a more purplish blue, leading in the night.

Lena loved watching the darkness fall over the city at dusk. It became a ritual in itself, whenever she had the time to step out on the LCorp balcony at sundown she would, especially in autumn. It was only in these moments on the balcony she would let herself ponder about life. Losing her birth mother and then growing up under the emotional neglect of the Luthors, left a mark on Lena. She was a highly intelligent woman, whom the Luthors had taught to fare well in the world. Life taught her to trust nobody but herself. Professionally there was nothing she could not realize. Her private life was a different story. Sure, her EQ could match her IQ, her intelligence was anything but limited, she was smart in the sense she could do the math, predicting and reading psychological events. She was a master deducer. Nonetheless, her private way of coping with life was a completely different story.

In these moments on her balcony she felt safe enough to feel the lump of loneliness hidden deep inside herself, currently residing in her stomach. It was that lump of loneliness that prevented her from engaging in truly meaningful, intimate, human relationships. She could feign empathic social interactions, Lilian, and later Mercy, trained her well enough to give anyone the impression that she cared and logically she knew she should care, but she hardly ever really cared. Not because she was a cold blooded narcissist, but because even the possibility of having a deeper connection to anyone scared her to her core.

It had scared her at first, Kara texting her, calling her, inviting her over. She did not have a friend, a real friend since Sam. She was in a catch-22. One the one hand, she found it hard to let people in, on the other, people were too scared to hang around with a Luthor, or they were trying to get into her pants. But Kara did not fit any category and something between the two of them just clicked.

The sky had just turned into a combination of pastels, a white, yellow and pink against the lightest shade of blue. The pastels reminded her of Kara and how these colors always seem so fitting for her. Kara's naivety, her optimism and righteousness intrigued her. Sometimes Lena would cringe of how privileged Kara could sound, but she knew underneath Kara's demeanor lay a complex world of hurt, shame and guilt.

A few weeks ago, they were were sitting at the kotatsu at Oinari's, both a bit tipsy from the umeshu. For some reason Kara ended up talking about high school and how lonely she had been, how she too had been an outcast. Lena never considered Kara being an outcast. She associated the word with none other than herself, while it seemed impossible to dislike Kara in anyway. She had then come to realize that Kara's loneliness had shaped her this way. Her sunshine merely hid the darkness buried underneath. Much like the changing skies at dawn. Lena had lain her head to rest on Kara's shoulder and shared how she became a rebel; different strategy same reasons. Kara had wrapped her arm around Lena and softly stroked her hair.

They both recognized that everyone had their own hardships in life, not to be compared, since there really is no scale to measure or categorize hurt in any way. With her own past, intimacy and friendship were pretty much strangers to Lena. These conversations did not come easy to her. But she valued them and tried to be vulnerable. On top, these conversations always came with a smile on her face, laughter in her heart, butterflies in her belly and lust in her pelvis. Kara was like a magnet, enticing and enthralling. She was compassionate and smart. She found pleasure in Kara's company. Of course, she tried to shove it all away, the blossoming feelings, but in the end she just could not. She wanted to be with Kara fully, romantically, sexually, intimately, for better or for worse. In order for that to happen, she had to play another piece on the board.

That meant that right now she had not seen Kara for three days, when they last had lunch together. Kara did let her know she was extremely busy working on a story and that if she could, she would have invited her over for dinner, but 'things are messy here' she said. Knowing Kara, she guessed Kara was hands deep in researching her newly found experiences, to either write an article about it or blow her away with fun facts upon their new meeting to cover up any discomfort she had on the subject. She smiled at the thought of it, while the pastels blended into dark shades of purple and blue before turning into the evening sky. For things to move in the direction she wanted she needed to take the next step: give Kara another nudge in the right direction and let herself be seen. And what could deliver the message better than a present.

* * *

"Good afternoon, welcome back." The same familiar face greets her as she arrives at the shop. From the stories she figured Nur must be around fifty, may be sixty years old. She was not particularly eccentric, yet there was something characteristic about her, a free spirit. From the lines on her face Lena could tell life has not always been easy on her, that she lived the life of the party once, and it changed her for the better. Unlike any other adult in her life, Nur came across youthful and wise.. Lena smiles and nods her head to the woman. "Good afternoon to you too, Nur."

"I still feel silly about the other day," Nur replies.

"Don't worry about it. You are not the only one who assumes." Lena playfully rolls her eyes.

As if to assure her, Nur places her hand on Lena's shoulder. "Well, you two look good together I must say."

Lena does not need any affirmation. "We do, don't we. And you know what, it's a shame, really." Lena laughs. Most people would shy away from her promptness, but not Nur. "Come," she says. "What are you here for?"

"A gift. For Kara. To Celebrate. Something to make her feel good."

"What a surprise. Or rather, what a coincidence."

Lena looks at her with a questioning face. Nur tells her it is nothing and asks her if she has anything particular in mind. Lena laughs.

"Of course I have, you don't want to know me. There are lists and boxes for everything." Nur laughs, as Lena continues. "I'd rather avoid any bizarre discussions with Kara, so it should not have any batteries, it should be able to move however, and it should be a color, blue, or red, or black, you know… No bunnies, or butterflies, apples, or anything she can associate with. Something abstract. Not too small, not too big, not too wide, not too thin. I could tell you pretty precize sizes, but that would make this rather awkward. It is already pretty awkward since I am rambling, much like Kara, if I may say." Nur laughs, and while Lena keeps adding to her list, Nur walks them to the vibrators and dildos section.

"You know how to limit your options. I have the perfect gift for you."

"Show me." Lena grins.

"Burgundy red, moldable, up to 7 inches, shapeable in length, thickness, bent, and structure, can be molded to be used in a harness, -just saying, its material 100% safe for the body, and on top of it holds a tiny chain of chip that responses to vibrations in its surroundings, amplifying them for its own purposes. So imagine," Lena cuts Nur short, with a big smile on her face. "Your walls contracting and your dildo starts to vibrate with you, synchronizing with your own personal rhythm, oh my god this is brilliant, I should have thought of this myself! Thank you Nur, this is perfect!" Lena cannot hide her enthusiasm, it hardly ever happens that she has no control over her impulses, but when she is geeking out over something, she cannot control herself bouncing up and down.

Nur hands her a flyer on her way out. "Here, we offer a wide variety of hands-on workshops, the next one takes place in a few weeks, please have a look at our program."

* * *

She could not help herself, she got hooked on porn. She was watching Femme like me, again. She just got out of the shower, where she shaved her folds and found herself getting ahead of her pleasure. She changed into dark red thai boxing shorts and a dark blue crop top, her wet hair in a messy bun. She put her glasses on and her laptop on her coffee table. Kara settled in on the couch and watched another segment of the DVD. Over the past three days she had watched one each evening, combined with reading the book Nur recommended her, she had a blast unwinding every night. She loved her little me-time moments. Finally, she allowed herself to indulge in something, guilt-free.

So there she lies, one hand down her panties, eyes fixated on the screen, where a salt-and-pepper haired woman seduces a brunette at a gala. The two of them end up having sex in a toilet stall. It makes her dripping wet and she is eager to come, but she is also eager to finish the whole clip, so she tries to postpone her climax as long as possible. However, before she can finish the doorbell rings.

 _Crap. What time is it. Only Alex drops by unannounced at this hour. Please don't let her be drunk again_. She closes the lid on her laptop and yells she will be right there. She stumbles across the room, as she runs for the door, which she opens with a big swing. Much to her surprise she finds Lena on the other side.

"Well, well, look at you, what a surprise..." The brown haired woman starts. "I did not get much to see of you lately and now I am welcomed by all of..." Lena pauses to draw out the shape of Kara in the air with her hands, raising an eyebrow. "this."

Kara's whole face turning red in a flash. "I...I thought you were Alex.." She stammers, closing the door behind Lena. "Come on now Kara, don't be shy. We're besties right, I can deal with you walking around the house naked, for someone's sake in the privacy of your own home," she tells Kara as she makes her way to the kitchen counter to empty out her bag.

Kara fidgets with her glasses and scrunches her nose. "Ah yeah, I'll be right back." She speeds to the bedroom, wishing she could snap her fingers and recompose herself. Instead she makes a mess of her closet in a spur and throws her favorite grey hoodie over her head.

When she returns to the living room, she finds Lena pouring them a glass of wine and there is music playing from her laptop. Lena then hands her a plate full of potstickers. "Et voila, late night dumplings from Oinari's, as I recall your appetite is exhaustless."

Kara cannot manage to form any sentence. Her brain short circuits on the thought of getting busted watching porn. _Shit did I close that screen? Did she see. NO. Oh no. Oh no. Ohnonono._

When Lena turns around, she hums -as if in approval, as she looks Kara up and down again. The only thing Kara can manage at this point is to giggle, unsure of the whole situation. She leans on the counter to stabilize herself physically, hoping her mind will follow.

"Uhhm, ehh, what's this?" She manages to stammer, pointing at the pink glittery box in front of her. Lena, seemingly eager to answer, tells her: "Oh yes, well, I have been thinking about our last meeting and how your sexual awakening is worth to celebrate, ain't no shame in pleasure, so I brought you a little present from our favourite shop."

 _How embarrassing. Please don't let this be what I think this is. Please make it go away._ "Thanks, Lena, I really appreciate it. Thanks for dropping by. It's getting late you know and I had dinner already..." Kara freezes.

"You are not!" Lena's eyes turn wide in disbelief. "You are not giving me the cold shoulder. Kara, come on, stay with me. You can do this. We can do this. I just gave you a gift. Just pretend I bought an insanely expensive designer pizza cutter for you, and it is wrapped in this obnoxious, glittery box. So, are you going to open it, or not?"

Lena manages to break Kara's spell. The blonde chuckles, relieved. "Ahhh, Lee, you know I am sorry. Let me have a sip first and we can try again."

"Cheers to that." Their glasses clink, their eyes meet. Lena continues: "Anyway, while only 52% of women appear to own one, I believe any woman should have one of these."

"A pizza cutter, you mean…" Kara raises an eyebrow.

Lena laughs. "You are the worst."

Kara raises her glass. "Lena Luthor bearer of gifts, empowering women all over the country to own their own pizza cutter, one household at a time."

"Shut up," Lena laughs again. "Don't get me started or I'll give you a whole lecture on the subject. You know..."

Kara cuts her short before she can finish the sentence. "Yeah, yeah, I got the message. I'll open it." and so she does; with shaky hands Kara opens her gift.

"I know you said we vibrate at the same frequency, I did not expect you meaning this."

"If I meant this honey, I would've bought us matching ones with a remote. It's purely meant for YOUR pleasure." Lena says as she walks past Kara. Kara slaps her with the box. "How generous of you."

Lena walks to the door to grab her coat, she sighs and smiles: "Now, I'll leave you to it. Enjoy your evening miss Danvers."

Kara runs up to her and grabs her by her arm. "You did not finish your wine…," she starts.

Lena takes her hand and leans in to press a kiss on the corner of Kara's mouth. "Hmm, I'm sure you were busy," she whispers in Kara's ear before she opens the door and makes her way out, to leave Kara red-eared and trembling.

* * *

There are noises coming from the other side of the door, as if Kara is stumbling her way to the door, which then opens with a big swing. Kara looks startled, she probably had not expected to see her. Much to her delight Kara is wearing little clothing. She looks like she just got out of the shower, rosy cheeks and wet hair put up in a messy bun. A blue crop top accentuates the lines on her stomach. She cannot suppress a smile seeing the boxing shorts underneath. "Well, well, look at you, what a surprise..." she starts. "I did not get much to see of you lately and now I am welcomed by all of..." she pauses to draw out the shape of Kara in the air with her hands, raising an eyebrow. "this."

Kara's whole face turns red in a flash. "I...I thought you were Alex.." Kara closes the door behind her. "Come on now Kara, don't be shy. We're besties right, I can deal with you walking around the house naked, for someone's sake in the privacy of your own home," she tells Kara as she walks to the kitchen to empty out her bag on the counter.

Kara tells her she will be right back and disappears. She takes the potstickers from the bag and puts them on a plate. Some music would be nice. She looks around the living room for Kara's laptop and grabs it from the table. Its screen is frozen on an image of what appears to be an image of a woman eating out another woman against a bathroom sink. Lena smirks. Naughty Kara. So that's the mood tonight. She opens the wine and hears Kara return from her room. Lena turns around to hand her the plate of potstickers. "Et voila, late night dumplings from Oinari's, as I recall your appetite is exhaustless." She loved seeing Kara wear next to nothing, but knowing now what is underneath the hoodie excites her even more. Kara appears uncomfortable, the blond giggles and trips and then asks about the box. The box is hard to miss, it is glittery and right in front of her.

Kara takes place on the stool behind the counter. She hands her the box and tells the blonde she has been on her mind since last meeting. Kara clumsily fumbles with the wrapper and ribbons, while she walks around Kara. She places her hands on the counter next to Kara, her front leaning into Kara's back. Her face moves closer to Kara's ear, lips almost brushing her earlobe, as she whispers: "In light of your recent sexual awakening, I thought you and I could have a little fun." She can feel Kara holding her breath. Her hands take Kara's and helps them to open the box. Kara's hands are warm, unlike her own. Their cheeks touching. Upon seeing the burgundy colored blob in the box, Kara finally exhales. "Wh..what's this?" Kara utters. She takes the rather formless matter into her hands. "This," she starts while slowly molding the burgundy, her breath hot in Kara's ear, "will make you feel good." She can feel Kara leaning her back into her, she closes the tiny gap that is left between her ear and her own lips, Kara tilts her head back. She watches Kara's eyes close and her lips part. "If you want me gone, all you need to do is say 'go', and I will be gone in a blink. If you want me to stay, hum for me Kara." Kara lets out a groggy hum as she wraps her arm around her neck. She takes her cue and draws her tongue slowly over Kara's ear and along her jawline. Kara tilts her head back to neutral and wraps her both hands around her neck to draw her in for a kiss. It is anything but conservative. Their tongues dance around each other. She likes a slow build up, the slow burn. But once past the point of no return, it all goes very fast and fragmented. Before she knows it, Kara is taking her hoodie off allowing Lena's hands to roam along her sides and underneath the crop top. Her cold hands finding bare breasts and swollen nipples to play with. Kara is on the counter allowing Lena to kiss her belly, while her hands knead Kara's strong inner thighs before letting her thumbs make slow circles closer and closer to the hems of the boxing shorts containing everything she wants to taste right now. She lets her palm rub over the fabric, not surprised to feel wetness underneath. Kara hands her a neatly molded rod. She takes her lover to the couch and frees her from her boxing shorts. She slides the toy between Kara's folds and lets the tips rest at the entrance. Kara's hands fist her hair, so it is hard to tell, but she believes she heard a 'please'. She lets her tongue make a few big strokes before gently sucking on Kara's clit and alternating it with drawing slow circles around it. Kara feels eager, pressing her whole pussy into her face. She slowly pushes the dildo inside Kara while she keeps kissing her cunt. She flattens out the bottom of the wand to let it rest in between Kara's bum cheeks. Just close enough to her second entrance for Kara to sense its presence. She knows Kara feels it as the blonde lets out a loud growl and pushes herself closer to Lena and her burgundy wand. Lena grins in anticipation, knowing that the mold should amplify Kara's inner vibrations anytime soon. Her fantasy is cut short by her phone vibrating. She deliberately kept her phone close, knowing she would hear from Kara.

Kara [00:31:54]: _There is only one word for this. Holy F*CK._

Lena smiles. Let the rambling commence.

Kara [00:32:15] _Okay, those were technically two words. But you know what I mean. THANK YOU LENA LUTHOR_

Lena's smile grows even wider.

Kara [00:32:45]: _For making me feel good_

Lena's heart smiles with her.

Kara [00:33:16]: _I know you are reading this :p_

Lena [00:33:46]: _Anytime._

She watches Kara type, and pause, and type, and pause. Nothing follows, so she gives a little heads up.

Lena [00:34:33]: _;)_

Lena [00:34:54]: _Happy you know how to please yourself._

Kara [00:35:33]: _Happy you know what pleases me_

Kara [00:35:52]: _Sweet dreams, Lee_

Lena [00:36:14]: _I'm sure they will be._

She watches Kara type again. Again nothing follows. She smiles to herself as she lets her hand slide back down and in between her legs to finish her fantasy, to finish herself. Relaxing in the comfort of knowing that all the pieces are in place.


	5. Mold and affirm (2)

After she closed the door behind Lena, Kara had clenched her fists and opened her mouth to release a silent scream, hoping her embarrassment would fade with it. She had touched the spot were Lena's lips had been only moments ago. Thinking back about it, it would have been the perfect moment to have pushed Lena against the door and claim those lips with her own, to have let her mouth explore that perfectly fair neck, to nibble on it and then ravish it. All she wanted was Lena squirming underneath her mouth.

She knows it is nothing more than a 'what if', nothing more than a fantasy. She feels the pit in her stomach: She would never dare to.

She walks over to the present on her counter and takes the clay like structure into her hands to randomly mold it as she ponders about Lena.

Her lack of courage and her fantasies are driving her mad. The past week she managed to become more confident in trusting her own sexual instincts. Then, she felt assured that with time she would know what to do. Now, she was not so sure if she would ever be able to take action.

Frantically, her hands mold. First a potsticker, a snake -or maybe it is an S, then an L -for sure, then she squashes it again to a flat pancake. Her whole system has been taken over by mere frustration. She gulps her wine away and takes the blob and her laptop to the sofa.

She opens the lid and presses play again, hoping the porn will numb her mind.

Meanwhile her hands continue to play with her present. While the women on screen fuck their way through an Americana landscape of endless roads and roadside establishments, her mind starts to calm down, yet her body starts to speak louder. She knows the satisfaction will only be temporary, that this will not solve her problems, nor her growth. Yet she allows herself to indulge in this moment and enjoy her own creativity.

She had seen something in the last clip that inspired her, and so she crafts a slightly bended rod. One side ribbed, one side smooth. Thicker than anything she had ever had inside of her. The figures on screen do not resonate to her, she closes her eyes. The only thing stimulating her right now are their sounds. Behind her eyelids it is a clear image of Lena that forms itself.

Her fantasies come in snippets. It is Lena between her legs. Beautiful, eager eyes locking with hers. The smooth side of dildo slides along her slit, transporting her own wetness along. It is her straddling Lena on the couch with Lena licking her nipples as she rocks onto Lena 's fingers inside of her. She pushes the gift inside. Dragging the ribbed side along her front walls. In and out. Back and forth. Slowly but surely, setting a rhythm. The porn in the background finished, but she would not know, Kara is completely lost in her own world.

As the rhythm settles, it feels as if the thrusts become heavier, as if the toy somehow gained weight. She feels the object in her hands moving, pulsating, or swinging, she cannot tell exactly, but everything starts to feel a hundred times more intense than before. She cannot suppress the urge to move her hips along, to push deeper, to lift her hips, to sway, until she feels she cannot hold it any longer, her whole body contracts for longer than she has ever experienced. Her mind as silent as the room around her. The only sound coming from her present buried inside which is still pulsating. It takes a few seconds and then her orgasm hits her and she releases, sending shivers all through her body.

Once the sensations fade, Kara recomposes herself. Her body feels heavy, her mind relaxed, her chest glows. There is a sense of euphoria, as if she has been wooed. She knows with all her heart who is to thank for that. Kara grabs her phone to type out a message to Lena.

Kara [00:31:54]: There is only one word for this. Holy F*CK.

Okay that's not one word. It's two, you blissed out space cake. She chuckles to herself.

Kara [00:32:15] Okay, those were technically two words. But you know what I mean. THANK YOU LENA LUTHOR

Kara [00:32:45]: For making me feel good

 _Oh my God, I know what that sounds like._

Kara [00:33:16]: I know you are reading this :p

Lena [00:33:46]: Anytime.

 _If only._ Kara desperately wants to tell Lena all the ways in which they could make each other feel good. She types and types but nothing decent comes out of it, and so she deletes it, over and over again. She feels stupid knowing Lena can see she is typing, deleting and not sending anything.

Lena [00:34:22]: ;)

Lena [00:34:54]: Happy you know how to please yourself

 _This one's easy._

Kara [00:35:33]: Happy you know what pleases me

Kara [00:35:52]: Sweet dreams, Lee

Lena [00:36:14]: I'm sure they will be.

She does not want this conversation to end, she wants to connect. She wants Lena to be there, with her. Physically or mentally, it does not matter. However, instead of giving into her longings, her urges, she decides it will be best not to let her spur of the moment emotions get to her and cool down. Everything has its own timing.


	6. Closer together

Lena [10:01:01]: Good morning, hope you had the sweetest of dreams. How about lunch today?

It was Saturday, Kara was having breakfast by herself, getting ready to go to Going Down to participate in their workshop. She had let Nur convince her to come. For some reason, whatever was going to go down there later felt safe to her. No dark back alley vibe, nothing that scared her there. The shop had bright colors and she trusted Nur. She felt that this woman respected her and would safeguard her boundaries and everybody else's. She had not mentioned it to Lena. She imagined surprising Lena with her newfound knowledge, and hopefully her newfound bravery.

Kara [10:15:02]: Sorry babe, I can't. Mom's coming over.

Lena too was having breakfast, ready to go to Going Down later as well and smiling at Kara's shameful lie. She crafted a nifty text, just to verify her hypothesis.

Lena [10:18:22]: Hey Nur, looking forward to the workshop. Anything we should bring?

Nur [10:25:24]: Hey Lena, looking forward to seeing you two later! No need to bring anything, we've got you covered.

 _Check._

By midday people started arriving at the shop. Kara, Lena and half a dozen other people. Kara was the first to arrive. She poured herself a cup of tea that Nur had offered her -unsure of what to do with herself- she was now spinning around the tea in her teacup to avoid any eye contact with her fellow participants. The awkward wait gets disturbed when Kara hears her name being called out by an all too familiar voice. Taken by surprise she drops her cup and spills her tea all over the floor.

Lena rushes towards her best friend, eager to soothe the discomfort she caused with her entrance. Kara's eyes alternate between looking at Lena and the mess on the floor, not completely sure of what she registers and what would be the best thing to do next. A helpful Nur comes running to clean up the mess. Lena wraps her arms around her best friend and helps her back up on her feet.

"Hello Kara, darling, how lovely to see you." Lena presses a kiss against Kara's temple and brushes her cheek with her thumb.

Kara looks at her with amazement. "L-l-ee," she stammers. "Lena, hi, what are you doing here?"

"When I went to buy your gift, Nur invited me to today's workshop. Guess it sparked my interest. But what about you Kara, thought you were having lunch with your mother?"

"Uhh, yeah, she canceled on me at the very last minute." Kara lied.

Lena squints her eyes. "Well, it is a delight seeing you here. Sorry your mother canceled on you." Lena tries to state it without shaming the other woman, but the innuendo is clear.

Before the moment turns awkward Nur asks them to follow her. "Okay everyone, let us gather downstairs. Yes there is another layer to this cake! Follow me!" and with that Nur guides the group of people deeper into the basement.

They sit four by four on two benches facing the other half of the group. Lena is beside Kara, holding her hand. Kara is cold, or nervous, or both and Lena's hand feels comforting. Placed between the two groups is another bench with various toys on display. Much to Lena's pleasure there is a variety of whips and floggers, there is rope, nipple clamps, gags and wheels. She feels the excitement grow in her chest and squeezes Kara's hand a little tighter. The other woman remains devoid of any response.

Nur starts to explain some basics and how to have safe, sane and consensual sex. She asks the participants to team up in pairs. Again, Lena squeezes Kara's hand. Kara looks at her partner and finally she seems to melt somewhat and come back to her senses: "Oh my god Lena, what a relief you are here. Imagine having to do this with anybody else. I would freak out completely. I would have left by now," Kara whispers to Lena. The brunette smiles: "I know. I got your back Kara, always."

Nur aks her participants to place a hand on each others' thigh and to close their eyes and feel the contact between the person next to them as well as the connection between the whole group. She guides them to a short breathing exercise to get them to slow down and get in touch with themselves and aware of sharing space with each other. When they open their eyes again, the air in the room feels lighter.

"So, first partner assignment!" An excited Nur starts. "Tell your partner what sex means to you. I want you to hold each others' hands and look the other into the eyes. Vulnerability is key, people. Connect, don't deflect." Nur claps her hands: "3 minutes."

Lena swings her leg around the bench. Kara imitates the gesture. The two now properly facing each other. "Take my hands," Lena tells Kara, and so the blonde does. "Y-y-ou go first, please?" Kara manages to ask. "Of course, dear." Lena inhales sharply. Piercing green eyes meeting Kara's soft blue ones.

"Sex to me, is a way of expressing myself through my body, of experiencing my body and getting to know myself, as well as a partner. Sometimes it helps me take of the edges of a hard days work, sometimes I am just plain horny and looking for release, and.." For a moment Lena pauses. The face of the woman opposite of her turned the brightest red. "Kara breathe, love," Lena says with a warm smile. Although Kara's cheeks redden even more so on the remark. She lets out a deep sigh. "Good. Well, and ideally sex is the most intimate act between me and my lover, where there is respect and understanding."

Lena smiles a soft smile. "How about you Kara?" The blonde grins. "Uhmm, well, up until a few weeks ago, sex was something of an obligatory act that came with relationships, you know, one thing leads to another. But you, you helped me see, and feel, that sex requires you to become intimate with yourself, with your own needs, your own likes and dislikes. To get to know your own inhibitions and explore them."

"That was three minutes! " Nur tells them and continues: "I heard the lovely lady here say something wonderful, sorry for peeping sweetie, she said: 'get to know your own likes and dislikes.' I could not have said it better myself. So, this round I want you to share with your partner 3 likes and 3 dislikes. Three minutes! And do not forget to thank your partner for their openness. Gratitude makes the heart smile."

Kara looks at Lena and knows she is safe here. She is truly grateful for everything her interactions with Lena teach her, every time. She knows her words are safe with Lena. Her body is safe with Lena, so this time she does not hesitate to start, to tell her likes and dislikes, even though she knows her face will become as red as a tomato, again. She focuses on the comfort in Lena's eyes. "Like: to feel, to take control of my own pleasure, yet to feel safe and taken care of. Oh and three.. eh to be filled. Dislike: mindless pounding, quickies, shower sex. Terrible." Kara brings the palm of her hand to her forehead. Lena raises an eyebrow: "I would love to hear more about that." Kara laughs: "Fainting, falling, bruises, nothing special. Your turn."

Lena's likes match Kara's, stating she likes "Slow sex, to feel safe and taken care of, and to make someone feel safe and taken care of. I believe we are a good match, miss Danvers. And oh, eating pussy, or would that make four?" Kara almost chokes, but recomposes herself quickly. "Let's see miss Luthor. Dislikes please." Lena continues: "Dislikes quiet sex, undoable. Restraints -on me I mean. A numb clit -mine I mean." Lena laughs. "Wow, that is specific. You really thought it over, I reckon?" "Well, that was sort of embarrassing." Kara giggles. "No, no, not at all, I just meant... I am impressed. And I would love to hear more about that, but I guess," and before Kara can finish her sentence she is interrupted by Nur.

"Very brave of you all! Now, round 3: one person closes their eyes, the other picks a toy from this table and explains why they picked it. Then ask your partner to open their eyes and ask them if you could use it on them and in what ways. From there you explore the toy and each other's responses to it. 5 minutes after which we will switch. Take care of each other. Check in with each other." Nur is something, Kara thinks. Something between an over enthusiastic show master and a spiritual leader; it is comforting and distracting at the same time. Reassuringly, Lena squeezes her, this time her thigh. "We got this." Lena tells her. "Go ahead, I trust you." Kara walks over to the bench. Eyes hovering over the variety of toys, unsure what to pick. Gag. _No_. Clamps. _No._ Rope. _No_. Whip. _May be._ Wheels? _Yes._ She picks up the shiny spiky silver wheel and comes to sit with Lena again.

"I picked something shiny. It will allow me to take care of you and make you squirm at the same time, yet you will not be restrained. Please open your eyes. Can I try this on you?" Lena's eyes grow wide as she beholds the little trinket. Kara's smile grows wide, knowing she made the right choice when she catches Lena licking her lips at the sight. "Lee, could you show me some more skin, I will make it worth it." Lena raises her eyebrow and takes of her jacket, revealing a black silky top and plenty of snow white skin to explore. She gives Kara a reassuring nod and closes her eyes again. "Surprise me Kara," and so she tries. Kara keeps her eyes set on Lena's face, curious for every twitch of Lena's facial muscles mirroring her internal response. She lightly takes Lena's right hand in hers and starts to roll the wheel painfully slow over Lena's hand and up along her forearm, around the elbow, over the triceps and shoulders." Every now and then, Lena holds her breath, furring her eyebrows and then releasing again with a small whimper. Kara drags the wheel across her collar bones, across her neck to her left ear. Lena purrs as Kara drags the wheel along her jawline. "Looking sharp," Kara whispers. At that, Lena opens her eyes, chest heaving with anticipation, with want. She is ready to jump Kara, to drag her onto her lap and kiss her with mighty passion. Before her fantasy takes a leap for reality, she knows to thank Kara with a chaste kiss on the other girl's lips.

Having left Kara speechless, Lena walks over to the bench, determined she picks a black leather paddle. "I picked something that feels good on your bare skin. Something to heat up your skin and test your limits. Perfect foreplay to make you feel good afterwards." Her own words make her blush. "Open your eyes," Lena whispers, and so Kara does. "Can we try this?" Kara is awestruck. She never used anything of the sorts and cannot quite imagine how to use it, or how it would feel. Yet, seeing Lena standing there with this black leather paddle in her hands, confident and ready, leaves her with no doubt that she is going to enjoy this. "Yes, yes, you may," she answers quite hasty. "Would you stand up then? And turn around? Place your hands on the bench, love." Kara bends over. Breath heavy in her chest. Heartbeat spiking up. Anticipation taking a hold of her. Lena lets the toy hover over her bum in a way that makes Kara doubt whether it is touching her or if she is imagining it. Lena starts to make slow strokes around her right buttock and thigh. Slow strokes around the left. Lena places a soothing hand on Kara's sacrum, making tiny circles with her thumb, steadying her. "Are you ready, milady?" Kara struggles to find words of consent, but only because her brain already short circuited on the precedent actions. "Yes," she whispers into the thick air between them. Lena softly strokes her bum with the paddle a few times before lashing out, smacking her ass with it. A "fuck" is all that leaves Kara's mouth. A grin on Lena's face. "Well, well, look who's a little potty mouth. More?" Kara huffs out a few breaths. "Yes. Yes, please". Lena is content with the response and repeats her actions three more times, then deciding it is enough. "Are you okay, Kara, dear?"

Kara is not. She is all worked up. Ready to lift that right foot onto the bench and to feel Lena's center pressed against her. To take a few more and let Lena fill here. But she shakes that thought and recomposes herself before she turns around to look at her friend. Another time. Soon. "Thank you" are the words that leave her mouth. "Oh, come here darling, Lena opens her arms and wraps her into a tight embrace. Kara surrenders into it. Tears swelling in her eyes. She hugs her friend back. When Lena loosens her grip, she looks at Kara and cups her face in her hands. "Hey dear, what's the matter?"

They are interrupted by Nur addressing the whole group. "And that was another round, sweethearts. Now, I think it is time for something that is integral to our practice and should never ever be forgotten: aftercare. Sex can be pretty overwhelming and illicit a wide variety of emotions. You never know if and what you will come across. Whatever it is, it should be granted space. Whether it is pure joy, whether it is fear, shame, release or anything else. And you can hold that space for each other, in intimacy, and with gratitude. You and your partner shared moments in which you were naked, vulnerable, raw and pure. Respect that that is something, do not take it for granted. It is your duty to make sure you both feel safe and in a good place afterwards. See each other, as people, as humans; equals."

While listening to Nur both women turned around to face her, Lena's arm wrapped around Kara's shoulder, Kara resting her head on Lena's shoulder. Kara's mind is racing, images of events past, with Mike, with other crushes, but it is all background music. Her feelings now louder than words. _Comfort. Home._

In the background she hears Nur talking. "Nourishment can come in many forms. In merely holding each other, in listening to someone, in talking, in eating a meal together, or taking a bath, or whatever. So, I suggest you ask your buddy what they need right now: a hug, a talk, a tea, or all three. And then if there's anything left you would like to discuss, let me know."

After Nur's final words Kara is the first to break the comfortable silence between them. "I wish we could stay like this forever." She knows the key to bravery, to taking the next step, is the comfort she feels when she is around Lena. All she has to be, is herself. To make use of that playful dynamic between them, to tap into feeling at home with Lena, and the rest will not be as awkward as her fears tell her.

"Hmm," Lena muses. "Feels right, doesn't it?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not now, but we should, later. Do you?"

"Ditto, like I said, I wish we could stay like this forever." Kara lets a silence hang between them, before she continues: "But, I would not be opposed in you taking me home and share a tea there."

"And hugs, there should be hugs too," Lena adds. "Free hugs for everyone!" The way Lena says it, mimics Nur's enthusiasm. They both laugh.

"And talks, we should talk too. About this, I mean." It comes out more playfully than Kara initially meant, as she twirls her finger around to imply their current surrounding; leaving the interpretation to Lena's suggestion.

"Intrigued. Well then, follow me miss Danvers. Let me get you home."


	7. Bound to be together

It is Lena who drives them home in her Maybach. Kara had never seen Lena drive the car alone, let alone sit in the driver's seat. Usually it is Lena's driver driving, with the two of them in the back. It is a short drive to Kara's apartment. Lena is talking about food, which usually has Kara's full attention, but today she can only watch Lena. It is as if she has gone deaf, the world quiet, while Lena's lips keep moving, along with her eyebrows and the lines on her face. The cityscape passes by outside of the window, but she only has eyes for Lena. Lena with the sunglasses. Lena with the shiniest dark brown hair. Lena with red lips moving, pearly white teeth behind her smile. Lena with her long fingers, tapping them to the rhythm of silent music.

"Kara?" No answer. "Kara," Lena tries again, this time with a little more power in her voice.

Kara finally realizes Lena is addressing her. "Lena! Yes, I am sorry, I am a little tired. This workshop really got to me."

"Yes, I can tell, I was talking about food and you did not reply. Could there be something else on your mind?" Lena has her eyes on the road in front of her, but Kara does not have to see the look on her face, knowing what she is implying from that subtle eyebrow raise and how she raised her pitch for the second sentence. They are already approaching her apartment building. "Definitely. Yet, not what you are implying. However, now that you mention it..." She sounds more nervous than she hoped she would.

Lena lets her car park itself while she takes Kara's hand into her own and looks her into the eyes. "Darling, I have to say you crossed my mind more than once this week, long before you dragged that wheel over my skin." Lena's index finger trails the back of Kara's hand.

"Kara, look, I understand that this is all a little overwhelming to you, that it is new, that you are nervous, that it might even scare you. Please know that I am here for you and that there is nothing that I would rather do than to explore this with you, together. And it scares me too, because I care about you and I would hate myself if I would ever hurt you in one way or another. I have been hurt too many times to fully trust people and to let them stay around long enough for them to actually hurt me. Lena averts her eyes for a moment. Kara knows it is in that very instance Lena sees images of countless people hurting her through her mind's eye. "I know, and I am here with you." Kara offers.

Lena looks back at Kara with a smile. She looks vulnerable. "Hmm, can I kiss you know", Lena asks, as avid eyes linger on Kara's lips. Her hand rises up to gently stroke Kara's cheek. Kara replies with a barely audible "yes". Lena slowly brings her face towards Kara's for their lips to meet.

It feels cliche to Kara. The two of them kissing in the car after an intense afternoon. Did she really think that it would only happen on her couch after tea, cuddles and a proper conversation? This just seems so cliche to her, but if feels so good.

Kara is the first to break the kiss. Her forehead resting against Lena's. "Please come home with me?"

For Lena it is not any different. Even though she had put all the pieces in place for exactly this outcome to happen, like every other time she plotted something, she still felt nervous when the actual moment presented itself. Like there would always be a part of her that could not really believe her chimaeras would turn into reality. At the same time, she feels proud of her accomplishment and she is well aware of the potential within the present moment that is presented to her. The combination makes her giddy, a way she hardly ever expresses herself. Lena knows she can only be this Lena with Kara. The Lena with her guard down. As if she is drunk on the sunrays Kara is beaming.

A giggly Lena drags a surprised Kara up the stairs. Kara has seen this Lena before, rarely, but occasionally. It is the Lena wearing her NCU hoodie. Although it is not the tipsy-talking-herself-down-NCU-hoodie Lena. It is the Lena that she took home to Midvale last fall. Who, after a few days of not working and a trip to the fun fair, could let go. She called her unarmored Lena. Somehow enchanted by life, and equally enchanting herself.

Kara opens the door to her apartment and as soon as it closes behind them, Lena's hands are on both sides of her face and her lips claim Kara's again. This time with less caution and more passion. For once, Lena is not biting her own lip, she is biting down on Kara's, who then gasps into her mouth. Lena smiles a devilish smile.

Soon their coats are on the floor. They kiss and dance around each other as their hands explore each other's bodies. Lips on lips, lips on necks, tongues across earlobes, while they stumble out of their shoes and towards the bed. Lena pushes Kara down onto the bed to straddle her. Lena's hands cup Kara's face. "How good is your sight without your glasses?" she asks. "I don't need to see you to know how beautiful you are." Kara replies. "God, you are cheesy!" Lena laughs. "No really, if I take your glasses off, I want to make sure you are able to see how bad I need you when I am …." Kara's face turns red, while she stutters her way through telling Lena she can still see people's facial expressions within 10 feet.

Lena seems satisfied with the answer and takes off Kara's glasses and leans in for another kiss. A kiss that trails along the line of Kara's jaw, up to her ear, where Lena whispers: "Let me show you what I have been thinking about lately." Lena unbuttons Kara's button up and sends it flying across the room. Kara is wearing a plain lavender bralette, that soons rides up over her arms and head to chase her blouse. They both laugh, it is a playful ritual. Kara returns the favor, removing Lena's top. Lena is wearing a black lace balconette. Kara enjoys the view as her hands reach around to undo the hook to free silky smooth plump breasts from their container. Lena pushes Kara down for their naked upper bodies to crash together and their mouths to find each other again. Hands travel across the naked skin as they roll over the bed and kiss endlessly. Lena's fingers play a taunting game with Kara's waist. They hover triangles over her pants and the skin above the hem of those pants, from the hipbone to her navel and into her hip crease. The next round Lena opens the zipper and her hands find the same taunting triangles. Kara bucks her hips in appreciation, anticipation and frustration until the only thing she can do, is ask Lena to do something about it. Lena is more than eager to comply. The pants fly off and Kara's matching lavender panties are exposed. A wet patch adorning the fabric between her legs. Kara gulps while Lena states the obvious: "Kara, so wet for me." Kara's cheeks redden, a pinch of shame shooting through her chest. No one ever called it out to her like that, a merely physical consequence of their actions, in this case of her own lust. She feels seen, exposed, vulnerable. But then there is Lena's voice again. "Kara my love," she starts, while she lowers herself in between Kara's legs. "Tell me how you like this?" Lena plants a kiss on the fabric. She opens her mouth to let her hot breath warm up the fabric. Kara shivers. "It is good, Lena. So good." Lena laps her tongue up over the fabric covering Kara's pussy, finding her clit on the way up, where she plants another kiss again. Her fingers explore the wet patch for a brief moment, before she cups Kara's pussy with her hand. The blonde is huffing, desperately trying to keep her body and breath under control.

"We really should have gone to my place." Lena exclamates. The frustration audible in her voice as she takes both of them out of their trance. She crawls up next to Kara. Kara turns to face her and swings her leg around Lena's waist. Kara leaves Lena no space to whine further. She gives her a chaste kiss on the lips and then pushes Lena down onto the mattress to ravish her neck. Kara wiggles her knee between Lena's thighs and starts to grind. A "Fuck, Kara" is all the approval Kara needs. They find a rhythm together, both losing themselves in the sensations again. "You feel so good Lena." Kara breathes softly into Lena's ear, igniting louder moans from the brunette. Lena is working towards a release. Kara can feel it and instinctively lets her tongue find its way to Lena's nipple. It takes not more than a few swirls to make Lena come with a loud "Fuck." Kara smiles, happiness flooding her chest. The insecurities only coming to surface after that. She can hardly believe she just made Lena feel good. As Lena comes back to her senses, she softly strokes Kara's cheek. "Thank you," she hums.

Kara is taken by surprise, when Lena abruptly sits up. "This is hardly fair," Lena mutters. "I was pleasing you! And then, you…" Kara interjects: "God, you are a terrible receiver, Lena." Lena laughs. "I am sorry, Kara. I am not quite used to easing into this. You just felt so good." Kara reassures her: "We are in this together right, no tit for tat or anything. No rush. I want to make you feel good." "And I want to make you feel good," Lena complements. "However, I was on a mission," she continues, "and now I am putting myself back on track and proceed with that mission." There is that playful voice again. Kara rolls her eyes at Lena.

"Lay down on the middle of the bed. I will be right back!" Lena cheerfully commands. She hops of the bed and Kara's eyes follow a perfect naked woman bouncing towards her front door. It is a delightful sight. Lena takes something from the coat rack and then frolics back to the bed with two pairs of scarfs in her hands. Kara can only smile as she watches the gleeful human-being return. Soft round breasts bouncing her way.

Lena hops back on the bed, straddling Kara's sides. Added to her gleeful attitude is now a soft smirk. Lena obviously has something on her mind. Lena takes one scarf and let's the edges of the soft fabric trace along Kara's belly, up over her breasts, her nipples turning harder on the contact, up along her collarbones, over her left shoulder down to her hand. "Raise your arm overhead." Kara stretches her arm over her head. Lena scoots higher up, her pussy hovering above Kara's face. "Don't you dare, baby," she warns the blonde underneath her. Her skillful fingers start to tie Kara's wrist to the bedframe with the scarf. She feels Kara's breath become ragged underneath her folds. She lowers back down onto her belly and repeats the act. Pleading eyes looking at her. The second scarf taking the same route, and again Lena hovers above Kara's face. Once Kara's hands are tied up she lowers down a few inches. Her pussy now brushing Kara's lips. Kara, the good girl she is, silent and merciful underneath her, waiting for her command. "Taste me." Kara plants a soft kiss onto the dampness. Her tongue darts out to take a quick dip. Lena feels Kara's lips form a smile against her skin, she leans into it. Kara lets her tongue explore new territory. The taste of Lena and the mental image of Lena grinding her face makes her squirm underneath the younger woman. She already loves the taste of Lena. Rationally she has no clue of what she is doing, but the taste on her tongue is leading the way and within minutes Lena comes for the second time that afternoon. Lena comes to sit on Kara's chest to ride out the orgasm. Kara licks her lips, savoring Lena's taste, before planting kisses on Lena's soft belly. Lena slides down to kiss Kara. The kiss is deep. The taste of Lena's cum shared between them. When Kara breaks the kiss, their eyes meet. "You had no problem letting me make you come again. I thought you had your mind set on pleasing me?" Kara teases, knowing Lena will bite. "Then wasn't it a pleasant event for you, my dear?" Lena answers innocently.

There is a shift in Lena's tone. "Spread your legs for me," commands Kara. "Keep them there". Again Lena hops off the bed. She grabs two sweaters from the chair besides the bed and ties Kara's legs to the end of the bed. "So pretty," she mutters. "How are you feeling?" "Exposed," Kara replies. "Can you handle that?" Lena asks. "It is new, but I am trying" "Good, because I am going to dress myself and run to Going Down real quick to get us something. Cannot risk you getting off by yourself. I want you where I left you." In a rather unLena like manner, Lena grabs the nearest combination of pants and a top she can find and runs off on her heels, grabbing her coat and sunglasses from the kitchen counter on her way out.

Only when the door slams shut, Kara registers what just happened. She is suspended in a way in which she cannot fully relax her body, so there is no way she can doze off. She feels exposed and it does all kinds of things to her. Her mind tells her a hundred different things. It feels unfair to be left like this, but it does feel exciting to know Lena has something specific on her mind. There is only one thing her body tells her right now: it is aroused, tingling, wet and it begs for more. She huffs and she wiggles, but to no relief. Eventually she finds comfort in knowing that there is nothing she can do right now but wait, and replay her memories of these recent events through that wait. That is until her body starts to tell her something else: it is hungry.

"Siri Call Oinari"

Kara orders two bento boxes and a pile of potstickers and asks for them to be delivered at her doorstep.

Some 45 minutes later Lena returns. She kicks of her heels and shows Kara two paper bags. One from Going down, the other from Oinari.

Kara welcomes her back with a: "Thank god. I am thirsty."

"Good, because it is about to get wet" Lena replies with a smile.

Kara laughs.

"My mouth is really dry. Untie me?"

"Not yet, sweetie, I have got plans for us." Lena brings a cup of water from the kitchen and comes to sit next to Kara. "Here, let me help you." She holds Kara's head up and carefully pours some water into her mouth. After a few sips, she places the cup besides the bed. "Can I have something to eat too?" Kara asks. Lena patiently feeds her three potstickers.

"This should still your appetite for a bit, now back down onto the mattress, miss Danvers."

Lena turns around and goes back to pick up the other bag.

"Don't you think you are somewhat overdressed?" Kara yells across the room.

"I will leave it to your imagination."

Kara grumbles. "Tease. It is not like I haven't seen any of it yet."

"Shut up. Just close your eyes, will you. Feel the mattress, feel the air upon your skin."

"That is all I have been feeling for the past 45 minutes." Kara grumbles, while willingly closing her eyes.

Kara hears the paper of the bag next to her. Lena is taking something out of it.

Then silence again.

She feels Lena coming to sit in between her legs. Her pussy twitches at the prospect of what is coming, she has no clue, but nothing bad can come out of this. She hears Lena swallow. Or can there?

A drop of water falls onto her belly. "Shit." Kara opens her eyes. A drop just below her navel. Another one falling from Lena's mouth, hitting her pubic bone, another one, sliding down her slit. She writhes her hips. "Damn it, Lena." Lena laughs. "Good girl." The water is cold. Kara feels goosebumps forming on her skin. The sensitivity drives her insane.

Lena moves down and settles in between Kara's legs. Her hair brushing Kara's thighs as she lets her flat wet tongue cover her pussy. "Mmm, so good." Lena mutters from in between her legs. She slowly laps up what she spilled, creating an even wetter pool. Within moments, the cold in combination with Lena's warm tongue and her perfect movements, Kara is pushed over the edge. She feels her body unraveling. However, she is not granted the time to surrender further into that feeling much longer. She rode out her orgasm, but is still trying to catch her breath, and already Lena is beside her with a pair of nipple clamps that she expertly puts on Kara.

Lena catches a glimpse of subordination in Kara's eyes. Kara cannot manage to bring out any words, she just looks at her, beggingly. Kara is putty in her hands and she loves it. Lena makes her way down again between Kara's thighs and starts massaging her labia with her thumbs. She watches Kara open up as she feels the longing to fill that opening creep up on her. "May I," she asks. "May I fill you up?"

Kara consents with a groggy "yes".

Lena slides two fingers inside Kara and explores the territory, humming in approval, while Kara starts to move with her, looking for a satisfying rhythm. "You are one eager woman. Patience, I am going to find myself a little bit of help and I will untie you." Lena tells Kara, while she removes her fingers from inside her. First, she unties Kara's legs. Then, Lena takes a black thigh harness from the bag and a thick life like dildo. She inserts the dildo and straps the harness around her thigh.

"Oh my Rao, what is that?" Kara looks surprised.

"Something very pleasing." Lena answers, as she starts to untie Kara's hands one by one. As soon as the first hand is released, Kara brings it to meet the dildo. She giggles at the contact. While releasing Kara's second hand, Lena sits on the side of the bed. As soon as Kara is released, she jumps onto her knees and wraps her arms around Lena's neck to plant a soft kiss on her cheek. Lena feels the cool material of the nipple clamps pressing into her back. "Did I say you could do whatever the fuck you please?" Lena playfully asks. Kara laughs. The blonde makes her way around and positions herself onto Lena's lap. Lena feels Kara's wet pussy pressing against her pubic bone, the dildo pressing into Kara's bum. The two of them kiss. Their tongues passionately dance around each other. It turns Lena on. She needs to be inside Kara, right now, so she breaks their kiss and tells Kara to come and follow her. Lena scoots back onto the bed, Kara still on top of her moving along. "Kiss me again and let me be inside you," she whispers. Kara bends over and complies, her need translated in the kiss. Under her breath, nuzzling into Lena's neck, Kara tells Lena she is wet and ready for her. Lena bends her leg to position the dildo at Kara's entrance and with a little help from Kara the tip slides in. Carefully, Lena pushes deeper into her lover, enjoying the little gasps coming from Kara against her neck. "Work with me," she encourages Kara, "ride me. Slowly. Feel me stretching you out." Kara takes her orders seriously and supports herself on her elbows. She grinds back and forth in an excruciatingly slow pace that she visibly enjoys. The sight of Kara biting her lip, keeping her moans in, her eyes mostly closed and Kara's thigh grinding Lena's pussy, is testing Lena's patience. She wants more. She wants it harder. But she is here to follow Kara's pace and give her what she needs. It does not take long before Kara increases her tempo, once she is fully comfortable with the full length of Lena inside her, her rhythm changes. The blonde hugging their bodies closer together, blending into one. The tension building rapidly in both of their bodies.

Lena tries to postpone the inevitable for as long as she can and to keep her focus on Kara, but her body takes over as the pressure of Kara's thigh on her own clit gives her exactly what she needs. Everything becomes a blur. A sweet perfect blur. She finds herself in that egotistical moment right before coming, knowing she will come anytime soon, indulging fully into her own satisfaction. Her mind free of worry, her heart free of pain. She comes dragging her nails down along Kara's back and with a loud scream the blonde comes with her. It is as if they are both melting at the same time. Kara slowly comes off of the dildo, removing the harness from Lena's thigh, removing the clamps from her breasts. "Thank you," Lena responds as she then makes her way under the covers. The blonde lays down by her side with one leg wrapped around Lena and her face buried in her neck. As she plants the softest kiss on Lena's cheek, she whispers: "With you, I could do this all day." "And night," she quickly adds. "Definitely," Lena agrees. "There is more in that bag..." She feels the blonde relaxing in their embrace and decides to stay quiet for now and enjoy her own blissful state and them being together. Soon they are both sound asleep.


End file.
